Confessions of a Closet Co-Sleeper

Before Weeble was born, we had great plans about how bedtime would go at our house. We're relatively laid back people who enjoy our rest, so Baby would be the same.

Weeble, in fact, loves her sleep. As a newborn, she preferred it to eating, which opened up a host of other problems. This preference required us to do the unthinkable: wake a sleeping baby. Every few hours. And encourage her to take at least a little milk.

By nine weeks, she had the whole eating routine down, and we were allowed to let her sleep at night. We read her a story, swaddled her, fed her, and laid a slumbering bundle gently in her bassinet next to our bed. And it was amazing. Because we were getting a full night's rest, too.

Did you know swaddling is not a good idea once a child starts rolling over? We didn't think that far ahead. And Weeble decided to start rolling over early in the continuum. This physical milestone coincided with my return to work.

The great sleep every night abruptly disappeared. Within a week we were properly bleary-eyed. Other parents we knew who were getting up several times a night probably cheered under their breath. Sleep deprivation loves company. We began to read every sleep book written. And we started to take turns sitting up with her asleep across our chest or bellies.

After a month and a half, I couldn't sleep upright one more night. And, since I refused to physically, spiritually, and emotionally withstand leaving her in her crib alone to cry, I baby-proofed our bed and brought Weeble into it. All the warnings against bringing baby into bed were ringing in our ears. But, we weren't getting enough sleep to listen. The naysayers didn't have kinks in their back and an overtired baby to contend with every day. Plus, nursing at night and getting up for work in the morning was getting more and more difficult.

The first night, she nursed once and slept twelve hours! Hallelujah! Now, I'm not sure how many times she nurses. It doesn't really matter because neither one of us fully wakes.

I have found a fraternity within and among working professional parents. No one talks about it. We're afraid we'll be judged by others, but there are a lot of us sharing sleep with our babies and attempting extended nursing. (All while feeling a little afraid that our teenager will still want to be cuddled all night long.)

I'm pretty sure Weeble will want her space by then. And the convertible crib will prove to be a great idea. It is going to make a gorgeous full size bed.

Until then, I will enjoy the extra time and connection we have. I'll probably need these memories in about 13 years.

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